That's a long time putting up with me!

This week marked twenty three years since Amy and I shared our first date and maybe our first kiss! All those years later we have two wonderful and different children who enrich our lives every day. Tomorrow we celebrate mothering Sunday with a sneaky trip to Cambridge and much swag for her to enjoy. What an amazing mum she is to our girls. Kind, generous and loving. She works so very hard for them, helping them with homework, talking things through even when she is exhausted after a hard day at school. Our slightly high maintenance children, adore her to pieces even though they sometimes should show their appreciation just a tad more in their busy lives. (take note girls) We have been scheming about gifts for a week or so and I hope we have got it right and the lady of the house approves! We'll see in the morning - fingers crossed!

Learning what might be good for me.....

Recently I have struggled. I have to admit this and keep trying to change this set of circumstances. Lots of things in my life carry real responsibility and I take these very seriously indeed. My job, my role as a parent and my duty to support Grandma at the end of her life. I am still grieving and finding day to day life extremely difficult indeed. Adding anymore responsibility just feels like a tipping point too far. Amy believes differently, Amy believes I need a dog in my life to support me to find myself again. We have fought, quite horribly about this over the last couple of months, with me fretting and becoming very anxious about coping with anything else. Having thought through what she has said, she may be right. Meet Meg. Meg came to visit us yesterday with her owner, who is now getting to the stage where she will not be able to handle such a lively and young dog. The plan is Meg to come to us early school holidays. She is a proper dog (no disrespect Inky - still miss you, lovely soul that you were), she stays close off the lead, does as she's asked, loves playing with a ball. I loved spending time with her and she maybe just what I need to bring myself and life back on track. I need something or someone to help me relax and release the heavy weight of responsibility I still feel. I felt free, unburdened and a bit of spark returned that I has not been in me for over a year. I was quite sad when she left and overcome a bit. Family is everything to me and although I feel frightened and apprehensive, I am truly starting to look forward to Meg coming to us and becoming part of our family. Secretly, I want her to take her primary shine to me and we can build that bond I think I need to help me come out of feeling very lost at times.

Oh what a night!

Loved Anna's company last night at the game. We cheered, chanted, jumped, shared some chips and hot chocolate, talked footy and spent some great time together. It chucked it down and it just didn't matter as I was with my girl. The fact that we won to stay top of the league was a bonus too! I must say that we were not treated to the best of games, but we were treated to a screamer of a winning goal that cued much delirium and a chorus of 'On the ball city!' I am slowly starting to feel a bit like myself again, having had several months of struggling. I felt the need to be alone with my own thoughts after Grandma died, not really motivated to do much or be with others, even the ones I love so dearly;  and now that wish to enjoy experiences is slowly coming back. I really treasured last night. Football may not be for everybody, but for me it is an experience of emotions, exhilaration, tension and excitement. Made all the better for sharing it with someone I love. What can be better than seeing Anna in a hat again as well. Love the hats Wiggle, you know I do!

A cheeky and tenacious cameo..

Most weekends involve football for me, aside from the summer when I begrudgingly spend time with my family! This weekend has been no different and this morning in the pouring rain I watched Anna back in the midfield rather than in goal. She was tenacious, feisty, skilled and literally everywhere. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed watching her outfield and she most definitely enjoyed it too. All that rough and tumble, just what Anna revels in! They got tonked today as the opposition must have been a foot taller to the man, but Anna and her team mates fought and learnt to combat the size difference. They all came off the pitch smiling as they got their consolation goal and the sense of camaraderie and team work at an improved performance in the second half was palpable.  I loved watching Anna, she is a leader, not just in example but in her communication with her team mates and organising them. Great stuff Anna and I look forward to next week. Anna often does not like pictures of herself and this comes from her confidence as she continues to discover herself; but I love this picture of her and to me it shows her true beauty and character xx