I feel your pain Mrs Hammond!

I don't think I have ever known such a frenetic, furious and relentless period of time in our family life as the present. Work (settling into a new job in Amy case), school (a new one in Anna's case), selling the house, clubs and footy matches, renting the new house and long weeks away from Amy and the girls. Always in the background assisting Grandma and Joan. The list of jobs to do and things to get through is now five sides long! I wake up very night thinking of something else that needs to be done. Desperately searching for a window of opportunity to quite simply spend some quiet time together. I am sure Amy and I could easily describe ourselves as not knowing our arses from our elbows! I know it will settle down and our real focus has to be supporting the girls in this frantic, stressful and emotional time in their lives with lots of change, but I really do miss spending time with 'my girl'. Our heads hit the pillow exhausted every night and I have not spent time with Amy for ages, literally weeks. It is the age old battle when you are a parent remembering that you are a couple and finding time for each other, but we have it coming thick and fast from all sides and it does not help one bit! After this all settles down Mrs Hammond, I fully intend to whisk you away for a weekend, just the two of us early next year. The kids will have to fend for themselves or if we give them the social services number they might manage to organise some kind of care package for a few days! Not sure how we are going to overcome this one, but just need a few days with my wife x  

Coming of age, the dawn of a teenager in the house.....

If you live with Lucy, you do have to be prepared for regular updates as to how many months, days, hours and seconds there is until her birthday. The countdown and the frequency can often be very relentless. Lucy organises herself in her head, set targets and mile stones to work towards. It's just the way she is and becoming thirteen is a big thing! We are now counting down the days on fingers only till the time comes when we finally have a teenager in the house! Ahhhhhhh! She at times, does not fit the stereotypical behaviour of a teenager with calm and thoughtful ways when considering the world around her. I have been particularly impressed with how she is slowly starting to accept and handle the upcoming change around her. Pragmatic, matter of fact, sarcasm and wit tend to be her weapons! I am truly hoping this magical birthday does not herald a significant change in behaviour moving forwards with all those hormones shifting around inside her. Only time will tell! So how do I feel about being the parent of a teenager? It means I am getting older but if I am honest, I am looking forward to it. Challenges and all! I really enjoying conversing with Lucy on a more adult level, I am starting to get excited about taking her for a coffee (when she likes it!) and our relationships growing on a new level. I feel more confident dealing with young adults than I did parenting a smaller child. It feels more natural. Let's see if I am misguided in my thoughts about my skills in managing a teenager - ask me in a year or so. I'll either be a parental god or a complete nervous wreck by then! The defining moment might just be the arrival of her first proper boyfriend. Now that could be a game changer for my current casual perspective!

Complicated, tenacious and a bit of handful!

I am conscious that at the moment, life has imposed a great deal of change on my girls. Everything is changing and when you are ten this must be difficult to deal with. There are some really emotional challenges on the horizon and ones that are already happening in both their lives. Factor into this that you are Anna and life gets even more complicated. She's finding things a bit tough at the moment, she adores her Grandma and is acutely aware that her time with her is limited. As Grandma becomes more unwell, and she is, Anna is finding this very difficult, even in the simple act of popping in to see her. Factor further changes such as moving house, moving schools, a young lady who is still trying to find her way in the world and gain a sense of her identity and place; then life becomes even more difficult. We are experiencing several emotional reactions as each change or challenge gets closer in Anna becoming very frustrated and I think she genuinely feels a sense of injustice at the moment. As her parent, this is the stuff I really struggle with and I find myself getting cross with her. My message to Anna would be 'don't try and find an identity, you already have one and we love you for being you. Don't worry about what people think of you and continue to find the path that makes you happy'. There is a million and one things going on in Anna's life at the moment, as is the case for us all. I have tried to find the words on several occasions that I hope will make a ten year old understand all this change but at the moment I can't. Add this to the individual changes she is going through and it could easily be quite overwhelming.  I know this is about her wanting to control, change and influence really complicated things that are happening and sometimes you just can't change what comes to us all. I am determined to sit down with her this weekend and find those words...

Moving buddies!

Our lives our changing each day as we move closer towards real differences in lifestyle, where we live, responsibilities, change of schools, a bigger family and a new adventure as a team. The house move is back on! We have accepted a great offer, more than I could ever have expected (from a vicar, so if anybody is less likely to screw us over and pull out, surely it will be him!). We have also found a fabulous house on a country estate no less, near Downham market. So, if the gods align and all goes well we could be looking at a November move before Christmas! There is a long way to go to make this happen, but I am positive and hopeful that a new and exciting chapter in our lives is really going to happen now. I am immensely proud of the girls and how they are handling the situation. The more we talk things through, the more they are slowing showing us a really mature attitude towards change. Don't get me wrong they have had their mini melt downs in the last few weeks, with Lucy in particular worried about moving schools. I have seen a calm in them in the last few days, perhaps even acceptance and some emerging excitement! It is not easy to get children to understand such a complex decision to completely up sticks and take a new direction, all be it not that far away, but it means real change for us all. I am excited and quietly enjoying seeing Mrs Hammond's joy at researching furniture and décor, doing what she loves. (Just don't tell her I love when she gets into project mode, her eyes light up, I only start to have issues when it costs me money and reality kicks in!!) Times are a changing, and I have to say I quite like it. I think I am ready for a new home and being part of a new community as well...

An emotional day.....

It's been an emotional day today and I have really felt it. Grandma celebrates her birthday today and sadly it looks likely to be her last. I have not seen her today and will not do so as away working on a project. Pictured to the right on her 80th birthday, I have not been able to take a photo or sadly visit. I saw her last night and things are changing. She looks unwell, the girls came with me and Anna in particular struggled to see the woman she loves coming towards the end. Me too if I am honest and today I have spent the day with a sinking feeling and a lump in my throat. I am very much looking forward to Saturday though and taking the birthday girl out for lunch. I know she will struggle with the fuss and indeed the physical act of getting out of the house, but I am hoping we can all give her an experience to remember, surrounded by people she loves and has helped immensely. I intend to smile, laugh, take the micky and probably even cry. Today is the day to celebrate an amazing life: remember and thank one of the people who taught me the true meaning of the word family. Somebody who has helped me so much and that laid down the foundations in my life that enabled me to be the dad and person I am today.  No move on the house news as our buyer pulled out, so back to the drawing board. We are going to have to be patient with all this and take it one day at a time. There are so many variables in selling the house and preparing for Joan to come and live with us. I am really feeling the pressure this week, as it feels like time is not on our side. Life goes on though and returned to normal today with Amy and the girls going back to school. No obligatory cheesy 'in their new uniform' picture ,as I was not there to take it!  Lucy promised me they would take a selfie, but we will see if she remembered!

Family is not always about blood....

We are really going through quite a tough time as a family unit in the last few weeks with some really difficult decisions having to be made. With Grandma terminally ill and coming towards the end of her life and Joan recovering from her stroke, we have had to talk through some very emotional things recently. We have taken the decision to sell up and rent a larger house so that Joan can come and live with us and we can support her with all she needs. Everything has moved so quickly this week and to our shock and surprise we sold the house in one day, I repeat one day. Now the frantic search is on for the right property that solves all problems, meets everybody's needs and hopefully ensures the girls stay in the same school as well. Quite a tall order and proving to be an emotional and stressful rollercoaster ride. I am so very grateful to Amy and the girls for consenting to this, and will always be grateful to them, this is truly not easy for them. I am feeling extremely reflective at the moment and the sadness in my life feels heavy and two fold. I feel a bit overwhelmed and concerned my family is changing and whilst I know we are doing the right thing and I am comfortable with this; I can't help feeling real sadness in the pit of my stomach. When I define the term family it means something different in this case and is nothing to do with blood. Firstly, I feel a heavy burden and sadness in loosing Grandma soon and it feels like as it comes closer each day goes quicker; then soon I will not see her or be able to talk things through, not get to hear her wonderful stories or argue with her! She has been a constant in my life and the gap she will leave for me will never be filled. She may not have been my birth mother, but she has been so influential in my life  and the  impending loss I feel is hard to take at the moment. My second sadness comes from the loss of close contact in friendship and the best neighbours I will ever have the privilege to share my days with in Libby, Ben and Big Lucy. To me they also feel like family. I don't know where we are going and it may still be quite close by, but I know I will miss the cups of tea, barbecues, delicious roast dinners and the ever extended hand of friendship from next door. I have struggled to call houses home since living in Berry Hall as a child, but 49 Queens Road has been full of some amazing times and difficult ones too, but made all the better by wonderful neighbours who have, I hope become life long friends and extended family. I am looking forward to a new chapter in family life, excited and fearful at the same time and as Amy says with Joan moving in soon with us, our family is getting bigger. This can only be a good thing. Watch this space world, the Hammonds are coming, all though it could pan out to only be a few miles down the road!!!!!

An interesting tale of inflatables and fry ups....

Mrs Hammond and the girls certainly engaged with the holiday spirit and this is demonstrated by eating habits and a large collection of inflatable animals for use in the pool! Amy completed a recording breaking daily consumption of a morning fry up for breakfast, claiming tenuously that it was due to the fact it was such good value at 3.50 euros! It was good value and it was delicious. On only one day was she not able to have the works, when a power cut meant that only a small emergency cooked breakfast was delivered. Never mind the fact that we had not water or power and couldn't use the shower or toilet. The English abroad have strange priorities. As for the girls this holiday they have spent time with a crocodile, a unicorn, a flamingo and a pineapple! A rather eclectic mixture of pool friends, some purchased and some accidentally acquired. I am afraid with much sadness the unicorn did not make it back to blighty, suffering a fatal and deflating injury. RIP and your memory will live long in the Hammond family culture....