Just got to keep taking it one day at a time....

The school holidays are nearly over. If honest we have not really been confident or feeling safe enough to go and do things as a family yet. The infection rate is slowly rising again in the country and everything seems a bit of a blur to me. The Hammond family are still quite content to stay in our 'bubble' and slowly continue to ease ourselves back into 'normal' life. Mrs Hammond started back at work today, mine is slowly rebuilding and the girls face the challenge next Tuesday of finally returning to school for the first time since March. Incredulous when you say it like that! I think they are a bit nervous, with new rules and guidelines to follow, but I really do think it is important to get some structure back in their lives and build on that. Fortress Pond House has been a god send in allowing us to be safe in these times, but time to start fleeing the nest again a bit more!. Our meal out was a huge success last Saturday, great company, good food (well my salad was a bit dire, but you can't have everything) and such a positive experience. One I will repeat again to build my confidence. A lovely moment last night and an impromptu game of Uno with the girls gave me real heart. A simple thing, but an important one never the less. I write this and can say that I am not good, I am struggling with all of this. I worry about the girls, Amy and Joan. I see the country sliding into critical recession and I am just trying to keep a roof over our heads and help the girls rebuild their lives and build a future. This year has been full of challenges I never imagined and my own battle with my health has compounded this. I am winning though. I am feeling healthier and lost so much weight. Hopefully I can continue to try to be a good dad, husband and stay strong.  Sunday would have been Auntie Joan's ninetieth birthday. Every day I have a chat to her, as my parent and wonder what she would have made of all of this. Ask for her advice. My focus remains the same, honor her life, continue her legacy of kindness and caring in everything I do if I can and help people who need it. I hope she would be proud of me. I would have loved to have a call and a visit this Sunday with her, like nothing else and help her celebrate such a landmark birthday. It is not to be and life, all be it somewhat confusing and challenging goes on. Next step get my feral kids back to school and the run up to October birthday week! 

Somebody turned the heating off!

The month of August has decided to behave like November and with howling wind, rain and quite chilly temperatures, the girls summer holidays have become the indoor equivalent of a winter break. Anna had locked down in her room and is playing endless 'Fortnight' with the expressed purpose of working her way through enough levels to gain the 'Groot' skin. One very excited young lady! I have to agree with her and have quite a soft spot for Marvel's Groot! Lucy is hunkered down under her duvet fully dressed trying to warm up with the occasional teenage grunt of conversation coming distantly through the door. Why we expected anything less for the upcoming bank holiday weekend I do not know, with another storm and weather warning in place! 😩There were calls in the Hammond house last night to put the heating on. Being the tight bastard I am, I asked that hoodies and extra blankets were used! We continue our rehabilitation back into the big wide world tomorrow with our first family meal out in a restaurant since February and lock down began. Really excited. A little bit of 'normal' on the horizon 😊 It is a simple thing, going out to eat with your family and one we have taken for granted up to now. Life has truly changed..

Beauty and personal grooming are a necessity in a pandemic!

Definitely needed as the world returns slowly back to normal. Order of the day in the Hammond house is some much needed personal grooming! Anna and I headed to the barbers, Mrs Hammond to get her nails done and Lucy got to have the next piercing she had been craving for months. It looks great even if my old fashioned self screams out inside 'no - that's my daughter!!!' It's really important for us as parents to start reintroducing these kinds of things into our children's lives. I know in the grand scheme of things they are not important, but to the well being of my children who have been through so much in recent months, they are at the top of the list and would always embrace that. Today marks the last day of my break and holidays. I do feel a bit rested and it has been nice not to work, but it has not been the time off I needed and tomorrow I'm back to the grind. In introducing slowly things back into the lives of our family, the days out I had hoped for have not come. We are not quite ready and Mrs Hammond is still struggling with her knee 😟 Consultants appointment on Tuesday, so fingers crossed. Although she has admirably ditched the crutches! One day, one week and one month at a time and we can change family life slowly back to where it needs to be. In the meantime, I will put on my big boys pants, knuckle down and that proper break and holiday will come next year. Cornwall anybody?!?

Missing a bit of birthday swagger....

And then I think I might have found it. Plagued by my usual insomnia I woke up on my birthday and rose before 5am. I have to say I was not feeling the birthday love. Somehow after these last couple of years these kinds of days do not quite feel the same without Grandma. I pulled myself together, wiped away a few tears and remembered what I have in my life and how grateful I am for those people here with me today and sharing life's journey. I have spent the last few weeks feeling completely sorry for myself, struggling and feeling isolated and alone in terms of a wider family. Kicking myself in the early hours of the morning I focused solely on Amy and the girls and realise how lucky I was. My birthday has been one of simplicity and family joy, coupled with friendship that warms my heart. We have had a stunning Norfolk day today, delicious food cooked by Amy, visitors in my oldest friend Kate, recovering from a surprising stroke, well and truly kicking everyone's arse at croquet, lovely messages from so many people and time with my girls. The duplicate card to an 'old fossil' I got made me titter! I have more than made the best of a day I was not looking forward to if I am honest, made the best by Amy's efforts and being with the ones I love. It's pretty much all I need really. The sugar free cake that Amy made me drew me to tears. I can't tell you what it meant to me. Love the masks Kate, going to scare a few people in the community moving forwards with those doing the shopping!!!! Forty six years old. I wonder what this year will bring. I am hoping more simplicity, less complication and challenges please!!!! Bring it on!!!

School's out for summer (sort of!!)

Not that it really got started or going much this term in the first place!! The school holidays are upon us in a slightly weird and surreal context. Lockdown is slowly lifting and the world is starting back up. The virus is still out there in small in pockets and measures such as wearing masks, social distancing, lots of handwashing are still in place. These will be with us well into next year. Attractions, shops, hairdresser, restaurants and coffee shops are slowly opening up with measures in place. The world is pushing forward quite quickly to get back to normal. The family Hammond are taking small but tentative steps towards this, but we are cautious and are not quite going at the same pace as other families I see on social media for example or in the news. The girls have started to spend a small amount of time with some friends, Anna has returned to football training and Lucy braved a shopping trip with me. We have also been having socially distancing barbecues with friends and family each week too. Which have been amazing and I have really enjoyed seeing people. Its such a difficult balancing act we have to juggle as parents, the risk is still out there, but we have to be so weary of supporting the girls to start getting back into the world. The longer this goes on, the more it will have a profound impact on their well being. The added dynamic to this is that poor Mrs Hammond is still really struggling with her knee. Now the other one, which has been compensating and doing all the work for the other is becoming a problem. Her mobility remains poor and this will restrict us in getting out and about. I am winding down my work so that from next Friday I can have ten days off. If I am honest I am feeling a bit haggard, taking lots on and under lots of pressure. I am ready for this break and we are going to have to think of some ways we can all get out and enjoy the safe spaces that Norfolk has to offer. This will be a welcome change of scenery and will be good for us all 😊 

Parentally sneaky and devious!

Child number one will not indulge me and let me take her photo. I was promised a selfie with her on Father's day that never came of fruition and was definitely avoided. In order to get an up to date picture of my Lucy, ashamed as I am, I have resorted to underhand tactics and stolen her latest Facebook profile picture. I like to have photos of my girls on my phone so when I am not with them, they are with me at all times. Makes me feel secure and safe, they bring me home when days are tough. I wish that Lucy could see what I see as her dad, I wish she could see the beauty, kindness, humour and integrity I see in my oldest daughter every day when I see her. She is beautiful inside and out and annoyingly photogenic!  Love my Loobychick very much xx

Birthday celebrations with a bit of a difference...

It pays as a parent in these difficult times to not underestimate the significant change that Covid-19 has thrust into the lives of our children and how difficult this all is for them. Key dates in their lives such as birthdays do not normally come with restraint, risk assessment, compromising decisions and strange behaviours needed by us all that do not even involve such basic human need as being able to hug loved ones. In the week that restrictions have started to be lifted in a more phased way, our lovely Anna has celebrated her twelfth birthday. Amy and I were determined to do what ever we could to make this as normal a day as possible for her. She and her sister have been through so much in recent years and the strange reality of a lockdown birthday is quite a difficult thing for a child to digest. We did this by organising at Anna's request a socially distancing barbecue. Invitations went out to Granny and Grandpa, Kate, Stu and the girls. It was very important indeed for Anna to have wider family there to help her celebrate a special day. So proud of her, for her compromises and thought process for such a young lady and modifying her expectations in these hard times. Very proud indeed. It was lovely, truly a lovely day. Anna received much swag, gave Uncle Stu a lesson in kicking a grown ups arse at football (great to see another person being the victim of her skill and positioning themselves with an ever growing list of excuses - been there and used them myself such as I am wearing the wrong footwear! 😂) I can't say thank you enough to all the family in making what could have been a day to forget into something memorable and special to remember. Most of all Amy, who exhausted by her injured knee - cooked, baked cakes and was amazing. Now to start planning October birthdays!!!! I wonder who that could be? Happy birthday darling Anna - you are much loved xx