How good was this girl today!!

Anna produced an amazing goalkeeping performance today in the mud and the wind, making countless saves, a couple of which would have graced a professional game tipping one point blank shot over the bar. It was a pleasure watching her tenacious and fearless display. I am not sure she knew too much about one first half save using her face to block the ball, spinning around a little disorientated and making a second diving save to block another shot! Obviously, and it goes without saying she gets her talent from her father!!! She quite simply oozes natural ability and athleticism. Equally as awesome, is the epic event of Lucy finally having cleaned her bedroom to the expected standard, in fact she has quite simply excelled. This may be the only time in her life, but I will marvel in this glory and remember this momentous day for decades to come!

Blink and you could miss it!

My girls are growing up, they are growing up too fast for my liking. It is a case of blink and you could miss it. Lucy summed this up in one incredulous sentence yesterday - 'next year Anna will be a teenager and I'll be sixteen'. She topped this off with comedy sarcastic statement about how old and boring I was!! They are finding their way, learning about themselves and on the brink of becoming women. I am proud of the people they are, the potential they have and the girls they are becoming too. They are also a pain in the bum! I hope we are good parents, I hope we are preparing them for an independent, happy and successful life. I had a bit of a panic and started thinking we don't have much time left to teach them as much as possible! Although I have my suspicions they'll still be using us as a base well into their twenties. It's a hard world out there now, the cost of living is ridiculous and a competitive job market. Don't tell the girls, but part of me is ok with them staying at home longer and a different kind of relationship. This period of time with them will never come again (although its going to cost me an arm and a leg!!) I hope this time goes a bit slower because I'm enjoying it aside of the regular hormonal strops! 

A new year of opportunity and fun awaits...

A new decade and year has arrived in the journey that is our family life. I feel a really positive sense of change. I'm starting to find my smile again. I think we are starting to settle back down after a difficult year last year. We already have lots to look forward to with a summer trip to Amsterdam booked to honour a promise to Lucy to see the Anne Frank museum; tickets to go and see the Tutankhamun exhibition in February in the bag too! A while ago I promised myself to push to ensure we have more family experiences to enjoy together and I am determined that 2020 will bring these. Last year was so very serious and quite intense, this year I want to see myself and my family moving forwards, changing the tough times into memorable ones. So to this end ,I am planning a few more surprises for everyone, just need to save the pennies first. Girls I do want something back in return - hard work at school, embrace new adventures, tone down the sarcasm, be less sloth like at home and find your smiles again. So Happy New Year Hammonds xxx

Making new traditions...

Christmas 2019 was never going to be an easy one. It was always going to be a bit emotional, a bit tough and a bit bittersweet. You know what, it's been truly lovely, calm and some important family time together. Christmas Eve marked the anniversary of me going into care and a hard day last year, when the syringe driver went in and Auntie didn't speak again. Such a conflicting day for me and I woke up upset and struggling to get through it. Then Amy and the girls did something wonderful;  they gave me some gifts to celebrate me arriving at Berry Hall. A new tradition. This lifted my soul, my heart and then the world really did not feel so difficult, knowing all three of my girls had my back. We have had a busy festive period, Amy cooked an exceptional meal, Granny and Grandpa, Kate, Stu and the girls all joined us for a relaxing day. Anna has not got out of her Grinch onesie for days, even dog walking in it! Watching the girls open their presents is all I need, you can pause the world at that point and I'd be good. This is what it is all about and simply spending time with family. Mrs Hammond did well and is sporting a handbag the size of Narnia! I loved my gifts and my 'kindle' is going to be my next step in recovery and learning how to relax and read again, once I work out how to use it!! It's a space I have rarely found in some time. The days did not come without tears, and I found it all a bit much as we sat down to our main meal, but received multiple hugs from wider family and that set the world right again. I will not forget this year, the hurt, the pain but most of all the love from my family that has got me through the most difficult of times and I'm coming through onto the other side. Merry Christmas Hammonds x

Roast potatoes got better in heaven recently I hear.....

The tree is dressed expertly by Mrs Hammond (nobody else is allowed to contribute - something to do with artistic licence!!!), the rest of the house is festive, all the presents are wrapped and metaphorically under the tree using colour coded paper. Well nearly, I am just a bit behind. Swag has been purchased for Amy, but I have not yet wrapped anything, mainly as I am very nervous about not using the right wrapping paper for each relevant present and I simply have not had time yet. I will nervously complete at the weekend. Just a few more days grind to get through and the Christmas holidays will begin in earnest for me. I need this break. I have such conflicting emotions about Christmas this year after loosing Grandma at this time. I simply don't know where that year has gone. I am determined to, if slightly anxious to be positive, and enjoy my family and if I remember Grandma it will be a flash back to those massive Berry Hall Christmas trees, the amazing and generous gifts, family everywhere and the sense of belonging in a family I had. Christmas is all about this, family and being with loved ones. Christmas Eve is going to be hard, so very hard, as will the 29th too. I have the love of my family, I am slowly moving forward and there are many important people in my life to share and even enjoy the festive period with. Merry Christmas to my lovely girls and a heavenly one to Auntie Joan, Uncle Pete and Auntie Doris. I hear the roast potatoes up there in the skies have improved in the last year or so! xx  

Who would have thought she would have needed to take such evasive measures?!

I am useless. Last week was the first time I had managed to attend a parents evening ever (yes ever, in fourteen years and I hang my head in shame) and I was suitably late having got stuck in traffic. I am always so very proud of the reports and feedback about the girls. So I was curious to arrive and find Mrs Hammond trying on protective police body armour!!? Surely, the feedback about Lucy progress could not be that bad! Just kidding, this was at the internet safety stand and the offer was made to Lucy to try it on, she blushed and simply stood back embarrassed as her mother had a go. Suits you Mrs Hammond! Parents evening was a success with the only feedback to work on for Lucy to control her talking a bit in class. 'And this one time, in band camp...' Private joke between Amy and I. Good work Lucy. Anna school report arrived today and was equally as glowing. If you compare their input and levels of  hard work at home, to those at school, then these really positive achievements should be impossible. That's an argument for another day! Well done girls and keep up the hard work. Twenty more sleeps till Christmas xx

Celebrating some successes and moving forwards...

Child number one will still not let me take a picture of her, but I would have attached one in celebration of her grade nine ethics work, which is the equivalent of an A* at GCSE. Really not bad for a young lady who has just turned fourteen. I think she likes a debate and an argument just like her dad! Less proud and awaiting clarification about her first detention at school. Although appears to be a strange one and her being punished for struggling at something, Very positive motivational practice from her school. Anna's doing well and working hard to overcome anxieties and new experiences; also nailing her football and played last week against Norwich city elite (boys) with Kings Lynn (she did really well). Ground breaking girl power stuff! In other exciting news Amy is undertaking an introductory course on Saturday re play therapy and looking into a possible career change in the future. She is an exceptional teacher, but I am worried about the impact this career is now having on her well being. I want her to be happy and move forwards after a difficult family year and this seems like an exciting and open possibility for some change that really makes a difference. Me, I'm moving forwards and have booked myself in to see a counsellor starting next week. Time to help me, focus positively moving forwards and get back to feeling like myself. A good week and a positive one. Next week will bring the same I am sure...