Appreciating what is on your door step...

When you have lived in an area for many years, you tend to take all around you for granted and often can get stuck in your own bubble. Norfolk is a wonderful place to live and thanks to our able tour guide Mrs Hammond, we had a whistle stop tour of the history of Kings Lynn and a visit to one of the local museums on Sunday. Only an hour or so, but really enjoyable spending time as a family doing something new. We did catch up a bit this weekend, spending two evenings sitting together as a family and watching the new Paddington films. We have stuttered our way into a slightly antisocial routine of late with all of us doing our own thing in the evenings and this is not always that healthy. Simple things such as taking the time to eat together in the madness of modern life and watch a film as a family was lovely and reflecting back on this, is something we do not always do enough of. I loved the chat, the giggling, sharing an ice cream and sitting together. Really topped off a great day, with a special family evening. Silly really, it did not take much effort on any of our parts and cost nothing. Amazing, how something so simple can make you feel so great. It really set me up for the week ahead and it was nothing of note or on face value that important, but it did have quite an impact on me. Two nights in a row as well, must be a family record of late! More time with my three girls, is the only tonic I need x

All I want for Mrs Hammond is to be able to say...

She loves it! Hammond's don't cope with disruption and change very well. A couple of months ago we decided (well it was decided for us as it was falling apart) to change the kitchen. Work begun nearly three weeks ago and we are still moving through the ongoing saga after cock up after cock up. Ovens that don't fit, cupboards being put on the wrong may, broken underfloor heating, sinks that are scratched, the list goes on and on. Hopefully we will be over the finish line by the end of the week. Fed up with take aways, mess and dust everywhere, the dog can't be at home and is staying at grandma's house - we all simply want it to be over. Me too and I am not even at home this week! When the hob actually worked, this was greeted with unbridled joy and Anna being assisted to make egg fried rice by Amy, a fabulous Spaghetti Bolognaise materialised and the correct order of things in the Hammond house felt restored. Not long now Mrs Hammond, will all be over soon and you can be in your beloved kitchen. Amy loves cooking and this is her place so I can indeed understand her frustration. I hate things that are not part of a normal routine as well as mess and I have been climbing the walls too! Our home is a place of sanctuary and safety in a modern world gone mad and we do love to eat Amy's wonderful cooking x

They have such a bond...

Even though they would not admit it! Anna has continued to be quite anxious in the last few weeks, but is slowly settling back into a routine and going back to school with less worry and more freedom. I was most impressed with Lucy's care and attention towards Anna, in offering to walk her to school last week. I was less impressed when she revealed her wish not to sustain this beyond a day! Which got me thinking, as we sat down on Sunday evening for a mother's day meal for Amy, with the girls sitting really close together. They were giggling, scheming and moving into that place where they are completely excitable, slightly too loud and on a wave length that only sisters can understand. I love watching them together when they are like this., I am not a fan though when this happens in the back of the car when I am driving! Beware any adult who goes close as this is the dangerous time when they can gang up on an unsuspecting parent for example! Whilst my two girls often fight, often need separating (sometimes our small house does not keep them far enough apart!) they do deeply love each other and have a very close bond, whilst being two different and diverse young ladies. It is lovely to see their connection. I can only pray that in the coming years they stay close, look after each other and always be there for each other no matter what life brings. I often say it, but they are a true and blessed gift and mine and Amy's lives would be not be as rich and fulfilled without our two argumentative girls. So keep arguing, keeping secret giggling, gang up on us all you like and bring it on! The girls call themselves team 'Shabuya' (not sure where the name comes from?) and even have a secret fist bump that is sacred to them. I hope they do appreciate each other and always will...

Thank God it's raining again...

Now I know I can sometimes be a grump, well most of the time, but thank god it has stopped bloody snowing, the temperature, which reached a biting minus seven has steadily increased and the ice is melting. After all the disruption things feel like they are getting back to normal and it is pissing it down outside! The kids are ready to get back to school, I am ready for them to go back too! The thing about snow and freezing temperatures, is after the novelty wears off, the children inevitably end up bored as everything becomes less accessible and a tad slippery. I must be getting old as I fell over twice! I noticed a growing pattern over the last few days, as Mrs Hammond and the girls hunkered down under blankets and turned into even more of television addicts than they were before. A sad day as one of Anna's fish passed away this afternoon, with much sobbing Anna and Amy discovered its lifeless body whilst cleaning out the tank. Turns out Amy may have been responsible for its passing, rinsing out the filter with tap water upsets the bacterial environment. In looking at her smiley face, you wouldn't think she had it in her!?! The fish murderer of Fakenham town. Just joking, we were warned that sometimes there are casualties when keeping fish, I am not sure Anna realised it would be so soon. I knew we should not have encouraged her to name them. RIP Rosie the fish, dutifully buried in the yard with no dignity whatsoever!

It might be a little bit cold...

My word it is cold today. It's chucking it down with snow, the roads are deadly and my feet are endlessly wet already. The snow has closed most Norfolk schools and this means all the family Hammond are together for the day on a school day. Out of every adversity comes a ray of sunshine.  In typical Hammond fashion we celebrated by going to have something to eat, a cooked breakfast in town. The romanticism of snow must have passed us by, and we just woke up and did what we do best! No jolly snow ball fights, no frolicking whilst making a snow man - its too bloody cold for that! Bacon and a good coffee always sorts us out! I think the fire will be lit later and we will batten down the hatches and watch a film under a blanket. Just what the doctor ordered and very much unexpected. Grandma update - currently resting and recuperating in Cranmer House for a couple of weeks in the hope to build her up to be safe to go home, then we look at the future and any challenges we may have to face if her cancer is confirmed. I struggled and grappled with the notion of being really honest with the girls about her health and what might happen, maybe even soon. I took the decision to tell them and understandably so there was much upset and reaction, with Anna especially panicking last week about going to school. All seems to have settled down a bit now and they have both been able to visit Grandma now too. It was such a difficult decision to make and it could have gone either way. I think it was one of the most difficult things I have had to do as a parent, tell the girls that they might be losing their beloved Grandma soon. Let's see how this all pans out, they will be more difficult decisions to take before the year ends I am sure. In the meantime, today is time to relax and enjoy..

Grandma is causing me real worry..

It has not been the best of times recently. A feel a heavy burden and worry on my shoulders in the last couple of weeks. With Grandma in hospital with a severe pancreatic infection and pneumonia, as well as talk that her breast cancer has returned, I feel very unsettled and am finding it hard to sleep. I thought I was prepared to potentially loose her, but I now realise I am not ready to part ways with the most influential person in my life. We have our ups and downs and on some occasions definitely don't agree, but I have so much respect and love for the person who gave me choices, a chance and a start in life; that, if I am honest for selfish reasons I want to keep sucking up that wisdom, talking things through with her and hearing those wise words for a few more years to come. Such a remarkable and independent woman, we may be reaching a junction in her life where some of that independence is not to the levels it was before, and this is where my heart tells me I must step in, take control and support her, whatever happens. I am finding it really hard and tough at the moment. Having Amy and the girls to come home to and my family, is a constant source of reassurance and in hard times, you appreciate what you have more than ever. I don't know what the future holds for Grandma, but I know I am privileged to have shared most of my life with her in it to date. I would just like to extend this a bit longer. I want her to continue to enjoy the girls and watch them grow up. I know it can't be for ever, so let's see what the next few days bring and take it from there...

Appreciating what I have...

'I can only be honest and say I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed and glum today. I am working away from home, its half term and I am very busy all week and I feel detached from Amy and the girls at a time when I most need to be with them. With Grandma in hospital and quite poorly at the moment, I am not able to visit her either as much as I would wish  and I am feeling guilty and questioning my priorities. I have continued with my work this week, as my main role in the house is as a provider, sometimes my feelings can easily contradict this, but I can't earn enough money to keep a roof over our heads by being at home. I have this argument with myself on many an occasion and never really come out with a balanced solution. It is true, since I became self-employed, I definitely have more family time and am at home more, but I just sometimes get ill timed periods when I am stacked up and this week is one of them. My most treasured possession reminds me of why I work so hard, who will most benefit and my role in looking after my family. Amy and the girls bought and made me at Christmas, a bracelet with 'Wiggle', Looby Chick', their dates of birth and our wedding date on it. Now whenever I feel not quite right, a bit low and I am not with my family. I touch it, think of what is important, take a deep breath and carry on. I am privileged to have what I have in my life and that comes from holding fast, doing the right thing and working hard. Today was not a good day, but I go again tomorrow with my bracelet on and my family supporting and behind me. Not a bad place to be in really..