It follows me everywhere that damn flamingo!

We're in the new house!!!! After weeks of packing, lugging, boxes and more boxes, the house sale went through and we are already half unpacked! The space is amazing and I think there is a possibility we are going to need more stuff! Amy has already begun mission sort the house and quite a few initial purchases. Anna has come up with an ingenious idea of using the holiday inflatable flamingo as a bedroom chair and I have to say she looks very comfortable indeed sitting in it! (might need to help her with a bit more puff as the flamingo is a bit droopy!) I can finally breath and I can feel the tension subsiding of the stress of the last few months. Things have weighed heavy on my mind; things are getting sorted and we are now on the final push in getting ready for Joan to come and live with us in a week or so. I am really excited and just a little bit proud of what we are doing. Anna is settled into her new school, Lucy started hers today and on the whole it went well. We will just gloss over the cock up with her bus pass that left her standing in the cold at the end of the day for a couple of hours whilst we rushed to collect her! All sorted now. I have to say I think I was more worried and nervous than she was. I have been fretting for days as to how today would go and a million and one questions going around my head. Will she have the confidence to make new friends? Will she settle and keep up her  high standards she was achieving at Fakenham. I spent most of today thinking of her and wanting to call her. Day one done now and she can go into tomorrow with more a sense of familiarity. We have a new family home and I have to say despite the sadness of leaving Fakenham, I could not be happier. Now to finish unpacking and get rid of those boxes! 

Celebration and a tale of caution...

In fact the birthday week flew by at such a rate I did not get involved as much as I would have wished to celebrate and show two  of the girls in my life how much I love and appreciate them. On Lucy's birthday I had to content myself with skype, a quick phone call and a big hug when I got home, other than that it passed me by. Amy worked all day on hers and we managed a 'tired' slap up meal at the local pub and then all hit the sack! I did manage to excel myself and spoil Mrs Hammond rotten with the purchase of a couple of pictures for the new house. (my nerves may now be shredded as usual I exceeded the planned budget). I didn't really excel, Amy chose and I paid! A dangerous precedent could be set; one should never solely express love through gifts on their own, but the madness of life at the moment left me with not many other options. Or so I thought. The last couple of days, Amy and I have found quiet moments to spend time together, chat, have a coffee and just be with each other. Amy has been the one giving gifts this week; in her time, counselling me and supporting me through a very difficult time. I was struggling to cope with all that was going on and with renewed energy I feel I can push onto the next phase after these simple but effective gifts of love and guidance. Its the wrong way around I know. I hope my gift goes a long way to showing how much I appreciate you Amy and enjoy them. In the week where I really started to feel I did not have much left to give, you have lifted my spirits. As for Looby Chick, she and I still have a cinema date set to enjoy yet of which I am very much looking forward to in November. Happy birthday to my lovely girls (and Libby) xx 

I feel your pain Mrs Hammond!

I don't think I have ever known such a frenetic, furious and relentless period of time in our family life as the present. Work (settling into a new job in Amy case), school (a new one in Anna's case), selling the house, clubs and footy matches, renting the new house and long weeks away from Amy and the girls. Always in the background assisting Grandma and Joan. The list of jobs to do and things to get through is now five sides long! I wake up very night thinking of something else that needs to be done. Desperately searching for a window of opportunity to quite simply spend some quiet time together. I am sure Amy and I could easily describe ourselves as not knowing our arses from our elbows! I know it will settle down and our real focus has to be supporting the girls in this frantic, stressful and emotional time in their lives with lots of change, but I really do miss spending time with 'my girl'. Our heads hit the pillow exhausted every night and I have not spent time with Amy for ages, literally weeks. It is the age old battle when you are a parent remembering that you are a couple and finding time for each other, but we have it coming thick and fast from all sides and it does not help one bit! After this all settles down Mrs Hammond, I fully intend to whisk you away for a weekend, just the two of us early next year. The kids will have to fend for themselves or if we give them the social services number they might manage to organise some kind of care package for a few days! Not sure how we are going to overcome this one, but just need a few days with my wife x  

Coming of age, the dawn of a teenager in the house.....

If you live with Lucy, you do have to be prepared for regular updates as to how many months, days, hours and seconds there is until her birthday. The countdown and the frequency can often be very relentless. Lucy organises herself in her head, set targets and mile stones to work towards. It's just the way she is and becoming thirteen is a big thing! We are now counting down the days on fingers only till the time comes when we finally have a teenager in the house! Ahhhhhhh! She at times, does not fit the stereotypical behaviour of a teenager with calm and thoughtful ways when considering the world around her. I have been particularly impressed with how she is slowly starting to accept and handle the upcoming change around her. Pragmatic, matter of fact, sarcasm and wit tend to be her weapons! I am truly hoping this magical birthday does not herald a significant change in behaviour moving forwards with all those hormones shifting around inside her. Only time will tell! So how do I feel about being the parent of a teenager? It means I am getting older but if I am honest, I am looking forward to it. Challenges and all! I really enjoying conversing with Lucy on a more adult level, I am starting to get excited about taking her for a coffee (when she likes it!) and our relationships growing on a new level. I feel more confident dealing with young adults than I did parenting a smaller child. It feels more natural. Let's see if I am misguided in my thoughts about my skills in managing a teenager - ask me in a year or so. I'll either be a parental god or a complete nervous wreck by then! The defining moment might just be the arrival of her first proper boyfriend. Now that could be a game changer for my current casual perspective!

Complicated, tenacious and a bit of handful!

I am conscious that at the moment, life has imposed a great deal of change on my girls. Everything is changing and when you are ten this must be difficult to deal with. There are some really emotional challenges on the horizon and ones that are already happening in both their lives. Factor into this that you are Anna and life gets even more complicated. She's finding things a bit tough at the moment, she adores her Grandma and is acutely aware that her time with her is limited. As Grandma becomes more unwell, and she is, Anna is finding this very difficult, even in the simple act of popping in to see her. Factor further changes such as moving house, moving schools, a young lady who is still trying to find her way in the world and gain a sense of her identity and place; then life becomes even more difficult. We are experiencing several emotional reactions as each change or challenge gets closer in Anna becoming very frustrated and I think she genuinely feels a sense of injustice at the moment. As her parent, this is the stuff I really struggle with and I find myself getting cross with her. My message to Anna would be 'don't try and find an identity, you already have one and we love you for being you. Don't worry about what people think of you and continue to find the path that makes you happy'. There is a million and one things going on in Anna's life at the moment, as is the case for us all. I have tried to find the words on several occasions that I hope will make a ten year old understand all this change but at the moment I can't. Add this to the individual changes she is going through and it could easily be quite overwhelming.  I know this is about her wanting to control, change and influence really complicated things that are happening and sometimes you just can't change what comes to us all. I am determined to sit down with her this weekend and find those words...

Moving buddies!

Our lives our changing each day as we move closer towards real differences in lifestyle, where we live, responsibilities, change of schools, a bigger family and a new adventure as a team. The house move is back on! We have accepted a great offer, more than I could ever have expected (from a vicar, so if anybody is less likely to screw us over and pull out, surely it will be him!). We have also found a fabulous house on a country estate no less, near Downham market. So, if the gods align and all goes well we could be looking at a November move before Christmas! There is a long way to go to make this happen, but I am positive and hopeful that a new and exciting chapter in our lives is really going to happen now. I am immensely proud of the girls and how they are handling the situation. The more we talk things through, the more they are slowing showing us a really mature attitude towards change. Don't get me wrong they have had their mini melt downs in the last few weeks, with Lucy in particular worried about moving schools. I have seen a calm in them in the last few days, perhaps even acceptance and some emerging excitement! It is not easy to get children to understand such a complex decision to completely up sticks and take a new direction, all be it not that far away, but it means real change for us all. I am excited and quietly enjoying seeing Mrs Hammond's joy at researching furniture and décor, doing what she loves. (Just don't tell her I love when she gets into project mode, her eyes light up, I only start to have issues when it costs me money and reality kicks in!!) Times are a changing, and I have to say I quite like it. I think I am ready for a new home and being part of a new community as well...

An emotional day.....

It's been an emotional day today and I have really felt it. Grandma celebrates her birthday today and sadly it looks likely to be her last. I have not seen her today and will not do so as away working on a project. Pictured to the right on her 80th birthday, I have not been able to take a photo or sadly visit. I saw her last night and things are changing. She looks unwell, the girls came with me and Anna in particular struggled to see the woman she loves coming towards the end. Me too if I am honest and today I have spent the day with a sinking feeling and a lump in my throat. I am very much looking forward to Saturday though and taking the birthday girl out for lunch. I know she will struggle with the fuss and indeed the physical act of getting out of the house, but I am hoping we can all give her an experience to remember, surrounded by people she loves and has helped immensely. I intend to smile, laugh, take the micky and probably even cry. Today is the day to celebrate an amazing life: remember and thank one of the people who taught me the true meaning of the word family. Somebody who has helped me so much and that laid down the foundations in my life that enabled me to be the dad and person I am today.  No move on the house news as our buyer pulled out, so back to the drawing board. We are going to have to be patient with all this and take it one day at a time. There are so many variables in selling the house and preparing for Joan to come and live with us. I am really feeling the pressure this week, as it feels like time is not on our side. Life goes on though and returned to normal today with Amy and the girls going back to school. No obligatory cheesy 'in their new uniform' picture ,as I was not there to take it!  Lucy promised me they would take a selfie, but we will see if she remembered!