It might be a little bit cold...

My word it is cold today. It's chucking it down with snow, the roads are deadly and my feet are endlessly wet already. The snow has closed most Norfolk schools and this means all the family Hammond are together for the day on a school day. Out of every adversity comes a ray of sunshine.  In typical Hammond fashion we celebrated by going to have something to eat, a cooked breakfast in town. The romanticism of snow must have passed us by, and we just woke up and did what we do best! No jolly snow ball fights, no frolicking whilst making a snow man - its too bloody cold for that! Bacon and a good coffee always sorts us out! I think the fire will be lit later and we will batten down the hatches and watch a film under a blanket. Just what the doctor ordered and very much unexpected. Grandma update - currently resting and recuperating in Cranmer House for a couple of weeks in the hope to build her up to be safe to go home, then we look at the future and any challenges we may have to face if her cancer is confirmed. I struggled and grappled with the notion of being really honest with the girls about her health and what might happen, maybe even soon. I took the decision to tell them and understandably so there was much upset and reaction, with Anna especially panicking last week about going to school. All seems to have settled down a bit now and they have both been able to visit Grandma now too. It was such a difficult decision to make and it could have gone either way. I think it was one of the most difficult things I have had to do as a parent, tell the girls that they might be losing their beloved Grandma soon. Let's see how this all pans out, they will be more difficult decisions to take before the year ends I am sure. In the meantime, today is time to relax and enjoy..

Grandma is causing me real worry..

It has not been the best of times recently. A feel a heavy burden and worry on my shoulders in the last couple of weeks. With Grandma in hospital with a severe pancreatic infection and pneumonia, as well as talk that her breast cancer has returned, I feel very unsettled and am finding it hard to sleep. I thought I was prepared to potentially loose her, but I now realise I am not ready to part ways with the most influential person in my life. We have our ups and downs and on some occasions definitely don't agree, but I have so much respect and love for the person who gave me choices, a chance and a start in life; that, if I am honest for selfish reasons I want to keep sucking up that wisdom, talking things through with her and hearing those wise words for a few more years to come. Such a remarkable and independent woman, we may be reaching a junction in her life where some of that independence is not to the levels it was before, and this is where my heart tells me I must step in, take control and support her, whatever happens. I am finding it really hard and tough at the moment. Having Amy and the girls to come home to and my family, is a constant source of reassurance and in hard times, you appreciate what you have more than ever. I don't know what the future holds for Grandma, but I know I am privileged to have shared most of my life with her in it to date. I would just like to extend this a bit longer. I want her to continue to enjoy the girls and watch them grow up. I know it can't be for ever, so let's see what the next few days bring and take it from there...

Appreciating what I have...

'I can only be honest and say I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed and glum today. I am working away from home, its half term and I am very busy all week and I feel detached from Amy and the girls at a time when I most need to be with them. With Grandma in hospital and quite poorly at the moment, I am not able to visit her either as much as I would wish  and I am feeling guilty and questioning my priorities. I have continued with my work this week, as my main role in the house is as a provider, sometimes my feelings can easily contradict this, but I can't earn enough money to keep a roof over our heads by being at home. I have this argument with myself on many an occasion and never really come out with a balanced solution. It is true, since I became self-employed, I definitely have more family time and am at home more, but I just sometimes get ill timed periods when I am stacked up and this week is one of them. My most treasured possession reminds me of why I work so hard, who will most benefit and my role in looking after my family. Amy and the girls bought and made me at Christmas, a bracelet with 'Wiggle', Looby Chick', their dates of birth and our wedding date on it. Now whenever I feel not quite right, a bit low and I am not with my family. I touch it, think of what is important, take a deep breath and carry on. I am privileged to have what I have in my life and that comes from holding fast, doing the right thing and working hard. Today was not a good day, but I go again tomorrow with my bracelet on and my family supporting and behind me. Not a bad place to be in really..

Really pleased I had my shopping buddy!

Now I am not a fan of shopping at the best of times and outnumbered in my house with an all female to male ratio, these family trips could turn out to be a nightmare for a gentleman such as myself. I could be stranded in clothes shops and viewing all things feminine, such as looking at make up, answering difficult questions about sizes and whether the ladies in my life look nice in it. Too many loaded questions to cope with! Or so I thought...Thank heavens for Anna. Last weekend I spent two of the most pleasurable hours shopping I have ever had in her company. We shopped and looked around in calm ease with no agenda. We scouted for DVD's, film memorabilia, the Norwich shop, football gloves and went for coffee. She was great company, we chatted away and this was a shopping experience I would love to repeat! P.S. Why is that neither of my children can't avoid getting messy when eating or drinking. Must order some bibs for them - note the chocolate sauce on Anna's nose. Messy pair!

Even Anna ate some pudding!

Recently we have been treated to Lucy's experimental cooking and she definitely whipped us up a treat or two. Given the task to make a crumble at school, she thought she would test the recipe out on her unsuspecting family and I have to say it was wonderful and tasted great. The dry run was a cherry and apple crumble, served up with lashings of cream and ice cream. A week later, the main dish arrived home from school and was also delicious. A slight problem in that there was fifty percent less apples, with Amy having supplied her with large cooking apples, I can only conclude that Lucy got a bit bored peeling such large ones. The result was a bit too much crumble and not so much apple! Anna, not normally one to have a pudding bravely tried some on each occasion and ate every bit. Amy is a fabulous cook and we can't get her to eat any of her puddings, so praise indeed for Lucy from the famous food critic Wiggle! I for one am looking forward to next dishes Lucy tries, what will be next?

It's finally finished!

After much swearing and I really mean much swearing, Lucy's bedroom is finally finished. After all these years of being practically inept, you would have thought I would have learnt my lesson and paid somebody to complete projects in the house such as this! It was a good job, that for some periods of time Amy and the girls were not in the house whilst I was decorating, as I used words I have not spoken in a long time! Not one screw I put up stayed secure, I fell off the step ladder, landing on my arse on an open pot of paint - for a short period of time I looked like a smerf (angry smerf). Rescued by Uncle Ron and his drilling skills, I completed the project by the skin of my nose, hours before the carpet guys arrived to fit it. Despite all the hassle, agitation, loss of dignity and pain, I am chuffed to bits to be able to have done this for Lucy. Her emotional reaction with tears of joy, made it all worthwhile. Enjoy Looby chick. Your first grown up bedroom with enough storage spare to keep all your crap in! xx

Resolutions that I must make stick!

Another year of family life has flown by and we dive into another full of hope and expectation. This New Years eve, the Hammond family broke with tradition and our usual level of social ineptness and actually stayed the course and saw the New year in! Getting home  at around 2am, having had the most wonderful time as guests at our friends Sophie and Jo's house with great food, fireworks, toasting marshmallows on the fire, meeting new people and even a bit of low level partying. All right, we are all paying for it now as we are usually all in our PJ's by 8pm! I love my family, beyond words, but we do get caught up in the mechanics of life and routine and sometimes do not make time for each other as much as we could, me probably the most. I take life too seriously and forget at times, just to spend time with Amy and the girls enjoying ourselves.  Amy and I focus so much on parenting and providing the girls with all they need, love and support, that we often forget our marriage and time to be with each other. So girls, the message is clear, I am going to find as many baby sitters as possible and palm you off to them for the whole of 2018, so your mother and I can spend more time together. Just kidding! Although this is important and I especially need to make the effort to find time with Amy and simply be together. So this is my resolution this year and one I fully intend to stick to. Don't feel at all like I saw enough of Amy last year as my wife, not a fellow parent and this is something I want to change moving forwards. Spending time with the girls is always great, such as taking Lucy to her first competitive game at Carrow Road and we won, but spending time with Amy is what makes me tick. Happy New Year to my family and can't wait for the adventures this year may bring! xx