We are really going through quite a tough time as a family unit in the last few weeks with some really difficult decisions having to be made. With Grandma terminally ill and coming towards the end of her life and Joan recovering from her stroke, we have had to talk through some very emotional things recently. We have taken the decision to sell up and rent a larger house so that Joan can come and live with us and we can support her with all she needs. Everything has moved so quickly this week and to our shock and surprise we sold the house in one day, I repeat one day. Now the frantic search is on for the right property that solves all problems, meets everybody's needs and hopefully ensures the girls stay in the same school as well. Quite a tall order and proving to be an emotional and stressful rollercoaster ride. I am so very grateful to Amy and the girls for consenting to this, and will always be grateful to them, this is truly not easy for them. I am feeling extremely reflective at the moment and the sadness in my life feels heavy and two fold. I feel a bit overwhelmed and concerned my family is changing and whilst I know we are doing the right thing and I am comfortable with this; I can't help feeling real sadness in the pit of my stomach. When I define the term family it means something different in this case and is nothing to do with blood. Firstly, I feel a heavy burden and sadness in loosing Grandma soon and it feels like as it comes closer each day goes quicker; then soon I will not see her or be able to talk things through, not get to hear her wonderful stories or argue with her! She has been a constant in my life and the gap she will leave for me will never be filled. She may not have been my birth mother, but she has been so influential in my life and the impending loss I feel is hard to take at the moment. My second sadness comes from the loss of close contact in friendship and the best neighbours I will ever have the privilege to share my days with in Libby, Ben and Big Lucy. To me they also feel like family. I don't know where we are going and it may still be quite close by, but I know I will miss the cups of tea, barbecues, delicious roast dinners and the ever extended hand of friendship from next door. I have struggled to call houses home since living in Berry Hall as a child, but 49 Queens Road has been full of some amazing times and difficult ones too, but made all the better by wonderful neighbours who have, I hope become life long friends and extended family. I am looking forward to a new chapter in family life, excited and fearful at the same time and as Amy says with Joan moving in soon with us, our family is getting bigger. This can only be a good thing. Watch this space world, the Hammonds are coming, all though it could pan out to only be a few miles down the road!!!!!
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