And then I think I might have found it. Plagued by my usual insomnia I woke up on my birthday and rose before 5am. I have to say I was not feeling the birthday love. Somehow after these last couple of years these kinds of days do not quite feel the same without Grandma. I pulled myself together, wiped away a few tears and remembered what I have in my life and how grateful I am for those people here with me today and sharing life's journey. I have spent the last few weeks feeling completely sorry for myself, struggling and feeling isolated and alone in terms of a wider family. Kicking myself in the early hours of the morning I focused solely on Amy and the girls and realise how lucky I was. My birthday has been one of simplicity and family joy, coupled with friendship that warms my heart. We have had a stunning Norfolk day today, delicious food cooked by Amy, visitors in my oldest friend Kate, recovering from a surprising stroke, well and truly kicking everyone's arse at croquet, lovely messages from so many people and time with my girls. The duplicate card to an 'old fossil' I got made me titter! I have more than made the best of a day I was not looking forward to if I am honest, made the best by Amy's efforts and being with the ones I love. It's pretty much all I need really. The sugar free cake that Amy made me drew me to tears. I can't tell you what it meant to me. Love the masks Kate, going to scare a few people in the community moving forwards with those doing the shopping!!!! Forty six years old. I wonder what this year will bring. I am hoping more simplicity, less complication and challenges please!!!! Bring it on!!!
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