Some days I do have worries....

Fathers day always makes me in a very reflective mood. I promised myself that this year would be the year I would not do this and spend too much time reflecting on the past and my lack of a father in my childhood, but the past has caught up with me again and I have ended up with the same thoughts in my head. Firstly I realise how lucky I am and then I have the very quick and stark realisation that I must always keep going in my role as a dad and not make the same mistakes my parents did. I must always work hard to be a good dad, keep thinking, keep learning and show the two beautiful daughters that I have been gifted with how to grow up and lead their lives as good people.

Being a good parent is the most difficult, yet rewarding of tasks and it can at times be a heavy burden and there is not a day that does not go by when you do not worry about whether you are doing the right thing. The girls both enter new phases of their lives as they each grow up and develop that bring Amy and I new challenges as their parents and the lessons you learn in bringing up the eldest often mean nothing when going though the same stage with your youngest. I have never had to think and deliberate as much as I do as a father. All I know is; that the more I deliberate the closer I get to the answers or the further away I get from doing the right thing. Parenthood is all a bit confusing and the only way forward is to take one day at a time and tell yourself that no matter what you are in it for the long haul and will try and do your best. The rest is down to a bit of luck, maybe fate and the will of the gods.

In looking at the picture attached I feel a positive glow that despite all my rants, thoughts and agitations with being a parent, that maybe I am actually doing ok and that I worry too much. Lucy and Anna look happy and are deeply loved. So I will put away the self doubt until next year and see what lessons I have learnt and continue to grow in my role as a dad and try not to cloud my enjoyment of father's day by dwelling on the past.