I think I have missed out on quite a bit in the last few years....

Having had some time to reflect on my resignation from my job and thinking about what the future holds; one thing I am clear about that for some time I have been detached and to some extent segregated from Amy and the girls through the choices I have made and the career path I took. This is not a state of affairs I want to continue. I have been watching and observing the bond, understanding and connection the three of them have and I have felt a little left out if I am honest. Some of the small things I have noticed in recent days are so indicative of time together and the close nit bond. The way all three of them sing in sync to the CD in the car, the fact I have no idea what the girls like in their packed lunch, their home work is completely alien to me, I don't know the names of all the girls friends and the routines in the house don't include me. It is strange feeling, when you know you have created this detachment, all be it not on purpose. I have so much to learn about my girls and am a disappointed with myself that I have wasted so much time focusing on the wrong things. I wanted to have a career that my family would be proud of and focused all my efforts into this. In truth, it probably did not mean anything to the girls and I would have been much better served by simply spending time with them. I am trying and things are changing and I feel a touch more connected and integrated into the Hammond house, but it does not stop that nagging feeling I made a real mistake over the last few years. Money isn't everything...