Making new traditions...

Christmas 2019 was never going to be an easy one. It was always going to be a bit emotional, a bit tough and a bit bittersweet. You know what, it's been truly lovely, calm and some important family time together. Christmas Eve marked the anniversary of me going into care and a hard day last year, when the syringe driver went in and Auntie didn't speak again. Such a conflicting day for me and I woke up upset and struggling to get through it. Then Amy and the girls did something wonderful;  they gave me some gifts to celebrate me arriving at Berry Hall. A new tradition. This lifted my soul, my heart and then the world really did not feel so difficult, knowing all three of my girls had my back. We have had a busy festive period, Amy cooked an exceptional meal, Granny and Grandpa, Kate, Stu and the girls all joined us for a relaxing day. Anna has not got out of her Grinch onesie for days, even dog walking in it! Watching the girls open their presents is all I need, you can pause the world at that point and I'd be good. This is what it is all about and simply spending time with family. Mrs Hammond did well and is sporting a handbag the size of Narnia! I loved my gifts and my 'kindle' is going to be my next step in recovery and learning how to relax and read again, once I work out how to use it!! It's a space I have rarely found in some time. The days did not come without tears, and I found it all a bit much as we sat down to our main meal, but received multiple hugs from wider family and that set the world right again. I will not forget this year, the hurt, the pain but most of all the love from my family that has got me through the most difficult of times and I'm coming through onto the other side. Merry Christmas Hammonds x

Roast potatoes got better in heaven recently I hear.....

The tree is dressed expertly by Mrs Hammond (nobody else is allowed to contribute - something to do with artistic licence!!!), the rest of the house is festive, all the presents are wrapped and metaphorically under the tree using colour coded paper. Well nearly, I am just a bit behind. Swag has been purchased for Amy, but I have not yet wrapped anything, mainly as I am very nervous about not using the right wrapping paper for each relevant present and I simply have not had time yet. I will nervously complete at the weekend. Just a few more days grind to get through and the Christmas holidays will begin in earnest for me. I need this break. I have such conflicting emotions about Christmas this year after loosing Grandma at this time. I simply don't know where that year has gone. I am determined to, if slightly anxious to be positive, and enjoy my family and if I remember Grandma it will be a flash back to those massive Berry Hall Christmas trees, the amazing and generous gifts, family everywhere and the sense of belonging in a family I had. Christmas is all about this, family and being with loved ones. Christmas Eve is going to be hard, so very hard, as will the 29th too. I have the love of my family, I am slowly moving forward and there are many important people in my life to share and even enjoy the festive period with. Merry Christmas to my lovely girls and a heavenly one to Auntie Joan, Uncle Pete and Auntie Doris. I hear the roast potatoes up there in the skies have improved in the last year or so! xx  

Who would have thought she would have needed to take such evasive measures?!

I am useless. Last week was the first time I had managed to attend a parents evening ever (yes ever, in fourteen years and I hang my head in shame) and I was suitably late having got stuck in traffic. I am always so very proud of the reports and feedback about the girls. So I was curious to arrive and find Mrs Hammond trying on protective police body armour!!? Surely, the feedback about Lucy progress could not be that bad! Just kidding, this was at the internet safety stand and the offer was made to Lucy to try it on, she blushed and simply stood back embarrassed as her mother had a go. Suits you Mrs Hammond! Parents evening was a success with the only feedback to work on for Lucy to control her talking a bit in class. 'And this one time, in band camp...' Private joke between Amy and I. Good work Lucy. Anna school report arrived today and was equally as glowing. If you compare their input and levels of  hard work at home, to those at school, then these really positive achievements should be impossible. That's an argument for another day! Well done girls and keep up the hard work. Twenty more sleeps till Christmas xx