The facts of life have been reinvented!

Lucy has decided to change sex education forever. This morning she declared that when Amy and I made her it was a bit like Bob the builder and Wendy making a house. I do recall it being less of a chore than that and far more pleasurable but if it means I can avoid the sex questions for a few more years then I will go with the story that sex is like building a house! So be it. The girls have had a fantastic weekend especially Lucy, who has been in fine form. Today we spent many minutes under the duvet giggling and trumping, a true and ancient Hammond exploit! We also spent real quality time at 'megafun' just prating around and after years of trying Lucy has finally got the knack of hide and seek. Yep, she has finally worked out you actually need to hide without revealing your location and shouting I'm here! For one so bright she can indeed be very slow on the uptake at times. Anna has eaten like a horse, slept, snotted everywhere, swaggered her way into town and as you can see has worked out how to redress the height balance by popping a chair on the table and attacking her sister from behind. Kids will do anything for cheese and onion crisps, especially mine. Me too.....

Walk on the wild side!

Anna, armed with pink coat, refusing to wear gloves due to genetic stubbornness, a dashing hat expertly put on the wrong way, fabulous pink wellies and a cheeky walking swagger completed her first full walk to nursery today and boy was she a proud girl. Alright she arrived and her hands were bloody freezing, but that is by the by. Expertly helped and guided by her big sister who showed her where to walk, where to run and the best times to hold daddy's hand (of which she refused to do for the whole journey) she made it from A to B safe and sound. Best we do not talk about the general levels of neurosis the whole experience induced in me, but I too made it through. Same time again in the morning girls. This was a fantastic achievement for one so small, the walk is well over a mile. Well done Wiggle.

So much to tell you...

Life has been manic of late, with work sadly having to be my primary focus. However much has been happening in Hammond family life to fill you in on. Me - I am stressed, knackered, over worked and under paid, but will not let the buggers grind me down.

Mrs Hammond is going great guns - she's lean, she's mean and having a wonderful time at work.

Lucy is quite simply Lucy. The first thing I need to discuss is her definite and quite hilarious need for 'closure' in the whole 'I missed my chance in the nursery nativity play due to chicken pox incident before Christmas'. Every time we have a visitor to the house, she bossily tells them to sit down in the living room, runs to the kitchen and then legs it in and shows them her star! Child psychologists may have a thing or two to say about that! At the moment you can spend a magical time with her or she can give you hell - for example she has earned herself a two week ban from the Bistro and the sweet shop for her poor behaviour on Sunday morning. So proud of her, though, as her swimming lessons are going brilliantly.

Anna is sporting a stinking cold and the high levels of grumpiness that go with it - having said that, so is her daddy today! (me - never?!?) Her speech is coming on so well and she has now acquired a worrying addiction to the film Toy Story 2 and Waybaloo on CBeebies. The Toy Story thing I can go with, Waybaloo I will never get. Strange, floaty coloured characters that speak in a child like language and listen to hippy wind chimes. Never mind, whatever floats her boat...

Pump up the volume!

Having never lived with a four year old before I have no idea whether Lucy's recent levels of volume are normal or not. Over the last few weeks she has become incredibly loud. Amy and I have been debating whether to get her ears checked out or not. Everything is said at such a volume that any louder she will wake the dead in the graveyard next door! If you ask her to quieten down, she holds it for about ten seconds and then finishes her sentence with a rising shout. If it is a genuine ailment, I am feeling that a trip to the doctors will not be the cure, maybe a gag or have a volume switch fitted so that I can simply turn her down. I like option 'B' personally.

Received the most amazing late Xmas pressie from Amy today - she has immortalised my blog in a hard back book. I am now a published author and the inane ramblings about family life I put down look fantastic on paper, gives me the impetuous to keep blogging and the lovely comments that people put in it about how they love to read about team Hammond were so pleasing and wonderful. People are now nagging me about when I will be doing another post, so today is for my fans and a simple crowd pleaser! Got to keep my fans happy.

Snow, snow go away - come again another day...

The snow is finally going much to Lucy's disappointment. She has loved it. I have to say the daily walk to nursery has become a trudge in the slush and the mud. The delightful Mrs Hammond has generously given me a few days off this pleasurable parental experience and I am now refreshed for the morning. Lucy declared that every day should be a snow day this morning. I strenuously disagree. There are weeks when my job takes me away from my family and this has certainly been one of those, when I have not seen my girls. After a weekend of weather related power cuts that caused me to virtually be up for three days solid supporting work, I am afraid I have been short on parental patience and time. Having had the day off today, I look forward to being in better humour this week and spending some quality time with the girls at the weekend. The problem is that when you are utterly exhausted, this has no barring on the girls and their wish to do things with you. They simply don't seem to notice that you are knackered. This week Lucy begins her swimming lessons, after a weather related false start last weekend and Anna's new word of the week is 'bubble' and a fully articulated 'Daddy'. Am very pleased with this indeed...

Anna has found her voice then lost it!

Anna is becoming very chatty as each day passes - a vast array of words and sounds just keep coming and just as she discovers the joy of speaking, she throws a two hour strop when she did not want to go to bed and has since lost her voice. At the moment she is a croaky little munchkin! Lucy just keeps the one liners coming. She walked into the kitchen yesterday, tapped my bottom and said 'Do you need any help with that Rob!' She also came out with another classic as I was on the phone to work - walked in, took a look at Anna and said 'Shush, the man is on the phone!' Lucy - you make me very proud. The girls bravely went back to nursery today after three weeks away and you could see they were both not that keen. Lucy has been all mouth for days and saying how excited she is about going back, but she was clearly nervous. Well done girls, not long till half term. We did have a cracking holidays though full of lovely family time, Christmas cheer and much chocolate and lemon roulade (heavenly pudding made by Mrs H). Lucy and I were very bereft when we took the tree down yesterday. Lucy gave me a kiss and said - best Christmas ever. I agree, although I have more Christmas experience to base that statement on. We have set a good precedent though.