Settling in and really looking forward to Christmas!

Life is tinged by sadness at the moment, but we are also really looking forward as a family and I cannot help but think we have landed on our feet and how positive the house move has been for us all. The opportunity it has already brought and the changes to our lives already shining through. Simple things such as sharing more meals together as a family, more space so we don't kill each other, and Lucy joined us in watching a film the other night. These are just small examples of changing dynamics. The massive thing is the pride I feel in how the girls have welcomed Joan as part of the family and offer her support. Grandma really might not be here at Christmas, but in her memory I am determined the future will be positive and we will create the most amazing family home in the next chapter of our lives together. Thank you girls for your open nature to all this change. Really proud of you and here's to the future and our first Christmas at Pond House. My hope is that in years to come the girls will name the house and consider it home and a pivotal and influential place in their lives. Just like Joan and I can name Berry Hall as having the same impact on us in our childhood....

Directing that tenacious attitude....

My world is full of very forthright women, although this week Joan finally moved in and is settling in and provides calm in the ever constant storm I live with! Anna is full of arguments, attempts to assert herself and an ever bubbling undercurrent of grit and determination to be in control. I think we may have found an outlet for this and that is keeping goal on the football field. Without any training and coaching as yet in respect of this, she is showing some real talent and attacks this role with a 'no fear' attitude. Her performances get better and better each time I watch her. On Monday evening she was selected for the Kings Lynn academy in this position after a successful trial. One fiery girl amongst all those boys, very proud dad! The only girl I might add! Tenacious women is the order of the week and with a heavy heart I have organised for Grandma to go into a nursing home for what looks like the last couple of months of her life. That determination and independence that has served her so well  and got her this far, is now hampering her. She finds it exceptionally difficult to accept and ask for help, and at a time when she most needs it. She looks to me to assist and lead on things to ensure her wishes are carried through, and then resists me helping or does not heed my advice. It's so heart breaking to see her loose control and independence and I want only for her to receive the best care possible at this time. I am finding it so hard to watch her in so much pain and not take what I see as the sound decision to have more pain meds. We all want control and complete involvement in the choices and key decisions in our lives, whether we are ten like Anna or in our eighties. I am not sure 2018 has finished with me as yet in its challenges and hurdles to overcome or the tenacious and obstinate women in my life!!!!

I had a moment..

Panicked - not my Looby Chick?! She really settling into her new school and every day she comes home saying in 'borderline and monosyllabic teenage' fashion that it has been a better day. This is music to my ears as her switch of schools was my main worry about the move. She is doing well, in some tops sets as well following her initial assessment. She has been really calm about it all, and nothing as yet has really phased her. A few dramas with new friends already, but nothing other than teenage girls spending time with each other. I had a real flutter of pride this evening when I got back from work and found Lucy beavering away at her homework on the new dining room table. It was a picture not to forget. She sounded out the warning 'I am going to need more space when I am revising for GCSE's'. This was a benchmark comment that showed me how she is now settling in and a renewed passion for learning again. She's come downstairs and presented her Christmas list to Amy and there is now a heated debate going on about spelling. Things are settling down, back to normal and I am pleased as punch...

It follows me everywhere that damn flamingo!

We're in the new house!!!! After weeks of packing, lugging, boxes and more boxes, the house sale went through and we are already half unpacked! The space is amazing and I think there is a possibility we are going to need more stuff! Amy has already begun mission sort the house and quite a few initial purchases. Anna has come up with an ingenious idea of using the holiday inflatable flamingo as a bedroom chair and I have to say she looks very comfortable indeed sitting in it! (might need to help her with a bit more puff as the flamingo is a bit droopy!) I can finally breath and I can feel the tension subsiding of the stress of the last few months. Things have weighed heavy on my mind; things are getting sorted and we are now on the final push in getting ready for Joan to come and live with us in a week or so. I am really excited and just a little bit proud of what we are doing. Anna is settled into her new school, Lucy started hers today and on the whole it went well. We will just gloss over the cock up with her bus pass that left her standing in the cold at the end of the day for a couple of hours whilst we rushed to collect her! All sorted now. I have to say I think I was more worried and nervous than she was. I have been fretting for days as to how today would go and a million and one questions going around my head. Will she have the confidence to make new friends? Will she settle and keep up her  high standards she was achieving at Fakenham. I spent most of today thinking of her and wanting to call her. Day one done now and she can go into tomorrow with more a sense of familiarity. We have a new family home and I have to say despite the sadness of leaving Fakenham, I could not be happier. Now to finish unpacking and get rid of those boxes! 

Celebration and a tale of caution...

In fact the birthday week flew by at such a rate I did not get involved as much as I would have wished to celebrate and show two  of the girls in my life how much I love and appreciate them. On Lucy's birthday I had to content myself with skype, a quick phone call and a big hug when I got home, other than that it passed me by. Amy worked all day on hers and we managed a 'tired' slap up meal at the local pub and then all hit the sack! I did manage to excel myself and spoil Mrs Hammond rotten with the purchase of a couple of pictures for the new house. (my nerves may now be shredded as usual I exceeded the planned budget). I didn't really excel, Amy chose and I paid! A dangerous precedent could be set; one should never solely express love through gifts on their own, but the madness of life at the moment left me with not many other options. Or so I thought. The last couple of days, Amy and I have found quiet moments to spend time together, chat, have a coffee and just be with each other. Amy has been the one giving gifts this week; in her time, counselling me and supporting me through a very difficult time. I was struggling to cope with all that was going on and with renewed energy I feel I can push onto the next phase after these simple but effective gifts of love and guidance. Its the wrong way around I know. I hope my gift goes a long way to showing how much I appreciate you Amy and enjoy them. In the week where I really started to feel I did not have much left to give, you have lifted my spirits. As for Looby Chick, she and I still have a cinema date set to enjoy yet of which I am very much looking forward to in November. Happy birthday to my lovely girls (and Libby) xx 

I feel your pain Mrs Hammond!

I don't think I have ever known such a frenetic, furious and relentless period of time in our family life as the present. Work (settling into a new job in Amy case), school (a new one in Anna's case), selling the house, clubs and footy matches, renting the new house and long weeks away from Amy and the girls. Always in the background assisting Grandma and Joan. The list of jobs to do and things to get through is now five sides long! I wake up very night thinking of something else that needs to be done. Desperately searching for a window of opportunity to quite simply spend some quiet time together. I am sure Amy and I could easily describe ourselves as not knowing our arses from our elbows! I know it will settle down and our real focus has to be supporting the girls in this frantic, stressful and emotional time in their lives with lots of change, but I really do miss spending time with 'my girl'. Our heads hit the pillow exhausted every night and I have not spent time with Amy for ages, literally weeks. It is the age old battle when you are a parent remembering that you are a couple and finding time for each other, but we have it coming thick and fast from all sides and it does not help one bit! After this all settles down Mrs Hammond, I fully intend to whisk you away for a weekend, just the two of us early next year. The kids will have to fend for themselves or if we give them the social services number they might manage to organise some kind of care package for a few days! Not sure how we are going to overcome this one, but just need a few days with my wife x  

Coming of age, the dawn of a teenager in the house.....

If you live with Lucy, you do have to be prepared for regular updates as to how many months, days, hours and seconds there is until her birthday. The countdown and the frequency can often be very relentless. Lucy organises herself in her head, set targets and mile stones to work towards. It's just the way she is and becoming thirteen is a big thing! We are now counting down the days on fingers only till the time comes when we finally have a teenager in the house! Ahhhhhhh! She at times, does not fit the stereotypical behaviour of a teenager with calm and thoughtful ways when considering the world around her. I have been particularly impressed with how she is slowly starting to accept and handle the upcoming change around her. Pragmatic, matter of fact, sarcasm and wit tend to be her weapons! I am truly hoping this magical birthday does not herald a significant change in behaviour moving forwards with all those hormones shifting around inside her. Only time will tell! So how do I feel about being the parent of a teenager? It means I am getting older but if I am honest, I am looking forward to it. Challenges and all! I really enjoying conversing with Lucy on a more adult level, I am starting to get excited about taking her for a coffee (when she likes it!) and our relationships growing on a new level. I feel more confident dealing with young adults than I did parenting a smaller child. It feels more natural. Let's see if I am misguided in my thoughts about my skills in managing a teenager - ask me in a year or so. I'll either be a parental god or a complete nervous wreck by then! The defining moment might just be the arrival of her first proper boyfriend. Now that could be a game changer for my current casual perspective!