Cruising and bruising....

The adult section of the family Hammond has not been having the best of times of late, however the younger ones among us go from strength to strength sometimes with hilarious consequences. Anna is virtually walking - she is cruising around on all the furniture and becoming braver by the day. She has had many tumbles as well. She can only be described as a 'mummy's' girl - whenever she is tired, in pain or just needs a cuddle. She will accept no substitute other than her mummy. The one thing in her favour is she is clearly articulating 'Dadda'. You go girl. She now has two teeth to show for her troubles and months of pain. She is clapping and drumming everything in sight! Anna does not stop. When she is crawling around the house and she and Lucy go up and down the hallway giggling and screaming it is simply great to watch. Lucy on the other hand now knows the word 'willy' and followed me into a public toilet today and said out loud 'My daddy has got a willy bottom!' Much to my embarrassment as another man stood next to me. Thank you Mummy for pointing out basic male physiology. I will deal with you later...On a similar subject, there is no privacy in this house. Whenever I take a shower, both girls head for the bathroom so they can watch and get splashed. Anna is so obsessed that you can turn the shower on, nip into the bedroom to grab your towel and by the time you get in the shower, there is Anna starring into the blank space where I am going to be. It can be strangely disturbing. Mental note - must fit lock on the bathroom and fast!

Lucy tackled her first cone ice cream today with skill and decorum. We had a lovely family day out today - just what I needed to blow the cobwebs away....

The one with the eighteen hyperactive toddlers...

Oh my God. Oh my God. My head, my ears and my nerves are yet to recover. Today I spent three hours at mega fun with Lucy for a children's party. There were tears, much screaming - screaming so loud it could wake the dead, a lot of food with hyperactive inducing e-numbers, some of the drinks the children were consuming were worryingly blue and there were several bumps and bruises. Never again, please spare me from such torment as a parent. I am completely exhausted, emotionally and physically worn out. Lucy had a great time and there were several occasions when I was so proud of her. Months and months of nagging by Amy and myself led to her being the only child that asked whether she could get down from the table and she was full of pleases. Well done Looby. This she contrasted with several long periods of high pitched screaming with her friends and running around like a headless chicken. The peak of my enjoyment was when she told me to sit down and wait whilst she and her friends went to play in the ball pool. I tell you, parental respect is rife in my house!

I think I am slowly getting this parenting thing!

I have slowly managed to chip away at Lucy in the last week or so and am working out strategies that mean good behaviour at bath time and afterwards. So far so good. Armed with a piece of paper and a printing stamp, courtesy of the ever amazing parenting god that is my wife. Lucy gets to put a stamp on the paper for every item of clothing that she takes off or puts on. Simple, but highly effective. I have added my own little twist, with silly faces and towel jumping to finish the process off to perfection. Why I can't come up with such simple ideas is beyond me, it's like I have a missing parental gene at times. Have just told a friend that is heavily pregnant that once you become a parent your brain goes to total mush, the question I am asking myself is 'was it ever there!' Amy has left me in charge today. At present it is going well. Anna is asleep and Lucy is nearly asleep on the couch watching 'Annie'. About every twenty minutes she wakes and develops musical turrets syndrome and blurts out an out of tune chorus of 'the sun will come out tomorrow.' My ears can testify that my eldest daughter does not have the voice of an angel....

Great one liner from Lucy last night: she got off the toilet, proudly looked in the bowl at her poo and said 'Looking good!'

For some reason I am starting to feel old...

In a month or so Anna will be one and I am not sure where the time has gone. She is really coming on, her character is emerging in recent weeks. She seems to be a fun loving and patient young lady who loves playing and is able to entertain herself, although she has not become a toddler yet! She simply adores the freedom of crawling around and even made it up the stairs on her own the other day after we accidentally left the stair gate open. She is everywhere and you need eyes and ears in the back of your head! I do have a nagging doubt that we have spawned two very 'busy' children and I am doomed to a life of servitude and running around and that's just after my wife! At the moment I feel knackered and these thirty something bones feel a bit weary. For some reason though, it feels like a nice knackered. As I am writing it is very early in the morning and Lucy could not sleep, so we came downstairs - she informs me that 'she is not happy,I am not sharing and I am a silly sausage'. Ah, the joy of the egocentric toddler. I can't think where she gets these phrases from! Who cares - despite the length of a parenting day and the fact it never stops, I am so happy and proud of my girls. Landmarks like a first birthday make me feel older, maybe wiser (?), but they are always something to savour and enjoy and they just keep coming and bringing me and my girls new experiences. It is a joy to be a part of.

The gentle art of putting together a sentence..

Lucy is now making attempts to put together complex sentences and there have been some interesting results this week. Coupled with an ever increasing imagination she can come out with some strange things that only serve to confuse me further. She has an instant assumption that we are all on her wave length and sometimes that could not be further from the truth! For example: 'Daddy, flies can't get out of the toilet - can they?' Instead of good morning yesterday that was the first thing she said to me. Anybody who can work that out and what she was thinking about you are welcome to all my riches. Or the confusing 'Please I may not have Cbeebies off or on?'. These different stances on the English language tend to come at times or excitement and are always followed by a wry smile and an 'oh!'. Anna is also getting to grips with our mother tongue, she has mastered 'Mama', I say that with a deep routed jealousy. Versions of 'Dadda' are being worked on with much enthusiasm and I do hope will follow shortly. She is verbalising constantly, regrettably none of it makes sense yet!

Domestic Goddess!

Step aside Nigella Lawson, you are only an impostor. The real and undisputed 'Domestic Goddess' lives in my house. It could be me as I have been known to titivate a room with a duster, but it is not. It could be Amy, who is known for her culinary expertise in Fakenham, but it is not. It cold be Looby who has been an efficient tidier of mess since she was tiny, but it is not. No; she is ten months old, scrumptious and absolutely adores doing the hoovering. She thinks it is fantastic. She stands over the hoover and does a Marilyn Munroe with the air as it comes out of the top, she loves her tummy being sucked up by the hoover and she follows her daddy around the house supervising my hoovering to make sure it is done to perfection. It is a true shame our 'Domestic Goddess' can't sleep at the moment, she is really having a bad time with her teeth and not much seems to help. I am truly knackered.