The waiting game....

Oh god, I really do know how she feels. Please see Lucy expression on the attached photo. I think it sums up how team Hammond is generally feeling. Two more days have passed and still no new addition to our clan. If I feel like this, just think how my wife feels. Any day now, any day now, any day now! If I say it enough times I am sure it will happen. Despite this we have had a good weekend. Lucy has been very chatty and helpful.We even managed to get her to eat most of a meal at the table! I have particularly enjoyed the development that she nearly falls asleep wrapped up in a towel after her bath as I stroke her arm. Pure heaven! Cuddles with you daughter can just simply melt your heart.My wife has read on the Internet that the baby could turn if you lie on your left side or be on your knees. So she is upstairs prostate on the bed watching top gear on the crook. The only way to make Jeremy Clarkson look good and if you are lying on your left side you can't hear him talk so much bollocks! Worth also mentioning that as a family we go car booting every Sunday and it is very entertaining to watch Lucy interact with the stallholders. Lucy's chosen 'currency' is her piglet toy and she tries to swap and barter it for everything! She can do this as she has two back up piglets at home!

A contrasting day....

It has been a day of worry for my wife and I. She had what she thought was contractions over night. I slept through the lot, fat lot of use I am. None since. My wife when to the doctors today and discovered the baby is back to back (or OP to use the medical term). This is the most painful way of giving birth. We are both worried and I know I'm not looking forward to seeing her go through that again. Lucy was OP and it was not good. Maybe the baby will turn. This has got me thinking. Isn't it nice that we can give our children the gift of not having adult worries, shield them from harm and ensure that it is a good few years before they have these concerns and an idea of adult consequences to situations. I am worried. It is up to me to look after Lucy this weekend and make sure she does not pick up on the fact that we are both anxious and concerned. I know I can do this for her.

Lucy has had a better day than her parents. She has her first pet. We have affectionately called him Mr Snail. He has his own ice cream tub, complete with vegetation and lovely sea views. When I arrived home she had him on the living room table and was guarding him with her life. At one point telling me to shush, snail is asleep! My wife brought Lucy to the Care Home where I work today and I have to say she enchanted everyone in the lounge and I was so proud. Lucy, having undertaken seven years of medical school and purchased a £1.99 doctors set from Woollies is now telling me she is qualified to check my knee and strangely my bottom are not poorly with her stethoscope!

A decison has been made!

It's like big brother in my house. Day 269 and Amy is in the diary room. I am large, tired and fed up - please can I have my body back. It's not all doom and gloom though decision has been made about baby names. A boy will be called Alex and a girl will be called Natalie. Women are strange creatures. They manage to have a conversation with you and convince you that you played a part in it and you want what they want. Then there is the declaration I am giving birth, so I am choosing the name. She might be right. On a different subject I have just witnessed my father-in-law do a victory dance when Spain scored in the semi-final of Euro 2008. It was not a pretty sight! Soon there will be another baby and plenty of pictures for me to bore readers with. I don't care - I am so excited! Hopefully it will be over soon and my wife will have her body back. Wind update - Lucy now wants to take credit for my breaking wind. I am truly proud.

Let the battle rage on!

Make no mistake I continue to be in a parental war and my considerably skilled foe is a two year old with cute, stropping and bundles of energy as her weapon. I will prevail. I will fight her at bath time, I will fight her when the telly is on, I will fight her when I need her to do something, I will fight her when she won't hold my hand - there are many battlefields and I am skilled on every terrain. Technically I am exaggerating on the range of my skills, I do my best. The last few weeks have been a real battle and I don't feel I am making head way. Some moments can be very funny though, as Lucy was on the living room floor this evening using a stropping tactic and Amy said - 'where's my good Lucy gone, where's my good Lucy gone.' Lucy perked up, pooped her head up like a ferret and kept saying. 'I am here Mummy, I am here Mummy.' And the strop stopped immediately.

This evening in the yard, I am afraid I must confess to having wind. Whilst letting rip I proceeded to blame my wife. Lucy agreed and told Mummy she was stinky and instantly took my part that I would never be capable of such habits! Finally I have an ally in the house.....

Sometimes it's just the anticipation!

It's been a really busy and tiring week at work and I really have not seen enough of my family this week. I really do miss them when I am not with them. Am looking forward to spending time with them this weekend and you never know, this could be the weekend that my family expands! My wife is a real trooper, she is getting bigger by the day and is really fed up. We are as ready as we are going to be and I have to confess to getting really excited. I simply cannot wait to meet this new person in my life! Magical!

Looser!

I am not exaggerating but my two and a half year old daughter gave me the looser sign today. Pure co-incidence, but it was very funny. I was a little shocked! With a big smile in her face she raised her hand, fingers in an L shape and said that's my drink daddy, please don't touch it.The terrible two's can bring some strange goings on.

We had a lovely bath this evening and sang songs, a much better evening and she seemed to like being with her daddy again.

So much can happen in a parenting week!

It's been a week since I posted anything. It has been crazy week. It has been a challenging week in the Hammond household especially in the parenting steaks. My wife gets bigger by the day and it really cannot be that long before she gives birth! Work is manic and I am frantically trying to get ready so that I can have some time off soon. I am so tired and Lucy has ranged from delightful to really challenging! She has been every where and anywhere this week and I have barely seen her. When she does see me she is usually knackered and frustrated. We did have a child free night last night and stayed at a hotel for a wedding. Bliss you would have thought - until my wife thumped me a 5.30am to wake me up to help with her cramp. We have also spent time with a lovely parent who has four children. This woman is a parenting god and it makes one feel completely inferior and a failure. All four of her children are perfectly behaved and I melted when a tired Lucy was giving me a hard time and she said 'don't worry Bob - it will get better'. Ahhhhh - today I just did not know what to do with her, everything I tried did not help. Tomorrow is another day....parenting is simply about sticking to it - sometimes it is hard when you are knackered!

The toddler power struggle!

We have had a wonderful day in the summer sunshine today. Lucy's cousins Eve and Tilda visited today. It is a real joy to watch the three of them playing and interacting. Young children do find it really hard to share. It was really fascinating to watch them jostle for who plays with which toy or who is top dog. It sounds way too analytical - but I am sure there were some real power dynamics going on. We have had coffee in town, a trip to the car boot, lunch with the girls, Toy Story, been to the swings, lunch including Strawberry meringue thing with loads of cream (my wife is an amazing cook), the girls have visited their great grandmother, Toy Story again and into bed extremely knackered! A simple but delightful day. Extended family has never been on my radar until I married Amy and we had Lucy. Today was simply a good family day. Forgot to mention the paddling pool that for some reason Lucy will not get in anymore....Picture attached is Lucy and all her cousins in May last year. There will soon be another cousin to add to the picture...Watch this space!

Have you pooed!

Lovely story - my wife took Lucy shopping in Marks and Spencer's yesterday. Now before I tell you what happened we have to uphold the British tradition in our thoughts that M & S has always been for the more discerning shopper and there is an assumed code of conduct that every middle class shopper should follow. Enter Lucy - tradition means nothing to children and they can show no respect. Lucy felt she needed to check the manikins in the underwear department, pull down their knickers and check whether they have pooed! Logical and she had no problem with this. I don't think Amy saw it that way. May we have many more experiences as a family like that so that I can put it on the blog for many years to come...Pure magic!

Take a deep breath, stay calm and then run around screaming nobody panic!

Every dad needs to ensure that he has an air of authority and calm about him. After all he is the man of the house and society expects it. Yesterday my wife thought that she might be going into labour and baby 'Anna' may be on the way. I was not calm and responded to this situation like Jones in Dads Army. All that was missing was me running round screaming 'don't panic! don't panic!'. This behaviour does not reflect very well on me and even though it was a false alarm, I really do think that I need to work on being calm and supportive. Easier said than done but I will try. Despite my inability to keep a cool head I can't wait to have another scrumptious baby in the house. Seeing the picture attached of Lucy when she was a couple of months old brings back lovely memories. I also forgot how petrified of picking them up I am. New babies are so small and fragile.

Update on the Pingu front. Lucy is no longer an addict. She is now simply addicted to Toy Story instead! I have previously alluded to this being a war. I think I need to knuckle down for the long haul...

Practical dad!

There are times when you are a dad when you need to put your practical head on. There is a problem on this front - I have no practical skills whatsoever! I get really nervous that I will screw up simple DIY tasks, so I blatantly avoid them or try to get out of them by paying somebody else. On this occasion I have made the effort. With the impending arrival of baby 'Anna' (Inverted commas imply we are still not sure about the sex) and have decorated the nursery and if I say so myself (smugly) it looks pretty darn good. This maybe the only time I ever get down in writing practical smugness on any level so I am going to enjoy it. My wife, Amy is getting very big and very tired - so it is my job to up my anti and do as much as I can, no matter how useless I can be. When you become a dad (or parent) you have to learn to be somebody you are not and in my case practical. It is time I learnt to do things I am not good at, so that I can pass them on to my children. I don't want Lucy growing up thinking you can put things off or buy your way out of trouble. Mental note - must do better....